Lesbian Tuesday Rework: “What It Feels Like for a [Lesbian]”

Usually, Lesbian Tuesdays are when I post about cool songs by musicians who are lesbians (or really popular in the gay community). I also post songs that are SOOOO obviously lesbian-related. For example, I might post about that girl crush song Rihanna released a while back.

However, in this post, I’m going to write about what it’s like to be a lesbian, or in this specific case: How I’m a moron because I like this one girl and act all stupid because of it, so here’s a post about what it does to your mind – in playlist form.

First, all I can do is wander around with sparkly eyes thinking “You are the girl that I’ve been dreaming of ever since I was a little girl” just like in “I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You” by Black Kids. (This gets problematic though because of the competitive nature of the singer when he goes “ONE, I’m biting my tongue. TWO, I’m kissing on you. THREE, is he better than me?” because I totally get all weird and question my awesomeness when there is competition.)

Next, as Madonna says in “Hung Up,” “time goes by so slowly” and “every little thing you say or do, I’m hung up, I’m hung up on you…. I don’t know what to do.”

And then, I just feel really stupid and, as it goes in Passion Pit‘s “Cuddle Fuddle,” “Now I feel silly, selfish and dizzy but I got this feeling that you’ll forgive me. Oh my god, just please don’t ever let me go…. Put up with me and I’ll make you see that things are better when you’re with me.”

And thennnnn, there are times when I feel cocky as fuck. I feel like I’m the shit. I feel like I’m Chiddy in the Chiddy Bang’s remix of “Under the Sheets” by Ellie Goulding. I walk around thinking as the lyrics go, “And if you look at me I bet I have you starry eyed…”

Other times, my brain is all ADD and just all over the place, loud, neurotic. It feels exactly listening to the Beck remix of “The Girl” by Dr. Dog.

After those neurotic times, I feel pretty awesome about myself again. I feel like what a life based on Dinosaur Jr.’s “I Want You to Know” would be like. All country-rock inspired and tough and cowboy-boot-wearing and rough around the edges.

Then, I feel all lovey dovey and romantic and cutesy like “Strange Condition” by Pete Yorn. I especially feel stupid like his lines “You know you’re the best thing to ever come out of this place” and “It’s got me out of my head, and I don’t know what I came for” and especially “So leave out the others baby, and say I’m the only oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.”

But to be completely honest, I just always end up chainsmoking and moping around to Black Light Dinner Party’s “Gold Chain” on repeat.

And that’s what it’s like being a lesbian when you like someone.

Progression

This entry charts the progression of what for all intents and purposes essentially was a relationship. It begins with the excitement of something new. The phone calls. The text messages. The concerts. The late summer nights. The jokes. The kisses snuck around corners. The photobooths.

Then it moves on to the confusion. The fights. The silence.

The denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression.

Then finally, acceptance of what for all intents and purposes essentially was the inevitable, eventual, drawn-out end.

I was in love.

These are my feelings. In order. From beginning to end. August 2010 to March 2011.

Progression:

Listen here: http://grooveshark.com/playlist/Progression/56621234

“Starstrukk” by 3Oh!3 (feat. Katy Perry)

“Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry

“Little Secrets” (Penguin Prison Remix/Cover) by Passion Pit

“Ride Frindship” by Terror Pigeon Dance Revolt

“Diet Mtn Dew” by Lana Del Rey

“Fake Empire” by The National

“USA Boys” by Health

“Cuddle Fuddle” by Passion Pit

“Your Visits Are Getting Shorter” by Bloc Party

“Soft Shock” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

“Just Didn’t Need to Know” by The Shivers

“Just a Friend” by Biz Markie, covered by Lissy Trullie

“Naive” by The Kooks, covered by Lily Allen

“Hope You’re Happy Now” by The Sounds

“For Reasons Unknown” by The Killers

“When I’m Small” by Phantogram

“You Know You’re Not Dead” by Broken Records

“Dry Your Eyes” by The Streets

“So This is Goodbye” by William Fitzsimmons (Pink Ganter remix)

“Starstrukk” by 3Oh!3, cover by Marina and the Diamonds

Passion Pit “Dreams (Cranberries cover)”

If you haven’t already figured it out, I love covers. There’s just something about one band performing another band’s song, especially if it’s done in a style vastly different from the original band’s.

When I bought the Passion Pit CD, I was lucky enough to find the Limited Edition version that has “stripped down” versions of two songs and the band’s cover of “Dreams” by the Cranberries!

Just the concept of Passion Pit covering a Cranberries song made me squirm in the Amoeba Records aisle.  One of my current favorite bands covering a song by a band I’ve loved since I was a little 4-year-old was a collision of my personal musical history!

Passion Pit’s electropop style made the song’s beginning, especially the synthesizer riff repetition, sound like an 80s hit.  The drums were done in basically the same style as the original.  However, you are reminded that this is a Passion Pit cover made in the time of bands like Arcade Fire at the 1:30 point when the choir-like wails combine with the layered synthesizer chords.

“Dreams” as covered by Passion Pit took sounds from the 80s, 90s, and today to piece together an opus of auditory and musically historical pleasure.